the end of journal #1

page 52
i might have to count this page as my very favorite. unlike most of the freeform layers i do, i had no issues with what to do each layer. it just flowed. i will be leaving this one B&W.

 
                                     pages 56, 57
my second heart page in this journal. this one, though, was not drawn during a heartbreak, but just purely out of adoration for the mighty muscle that makes us go. the mushroom is my second large fungus. the larger ones are fun to fill in.

page54
my tree is decidedly the most scary page of this journal. i don't do well with eye contact, but eyes are the first thing i'm attracted to in a person. i read them like a book. maybe that's why i don't like them much~ too much information ;)
this will stay B&W as well, as it feels stronger this way.

 pages 58, 60
i decided i wanted to try something figural, thus the birdie. i had done a few on inchies, but never this big. will do more....

page 62

 page 59

           

                                                                                            page 61 and the inside cover

my jellyfish is another favorite of mine, and friends seem to like it too. i especially think this portrays my absolute color scheme, although the blue could be a slight more periwinkle for my taste. ♥

no relationships for me, thanks.

 

one of my recent relationships gone down under the weight of my OCD (page 37). i have severe trust issues, but still jump in when i find someone interesting. a new friendship is always refreshing: sharing and disclosing...then it hits. my overwhelming need to know it's permanent and that i can keep trusting. the need to know i'm really wanted. vulnerability pulls me into obsessive cycles of dependence and frustration, and the poor person runs. it's completely my fault, as i see it happening and despite attempts to control it and even stop it, it takes over my brain and ruins everything good in my life. i fucking hate it.

pages 38 and 39

page 40

challenge to stay open-ended. LOL.

pretty much whatever i say today might sound negative.  just the day.  but i have gripes with blogger.  why is it sooo much easier to upload and organize stuff on flickr than here?  the *new* page feature is not much news, you can only make static pages....wanted bad to have the page structure of wordpress. yes, so go there, i know. each has their merits, but neither is really set-up for gallery type pages or art/photography posting like flickr. 

not sure how to proceed....i'm getting a lot of views on flickr and finding an incredible community atmosphere, and it's much quicker than waiting for traffic here.

what i'm debating is, i was opening a blog to both have a place to share art and have a place to talk about depression and OCD. i wanted to see if i could blend the mental process with my art, as a way to promote art as therapy. i haven't been doing that, i'm actually avoiding the mental parts.  maybe if i concentrate more on that here, and focus on just my art on flickr, i can do both.  bear with me as i try to figure it out, the very few of you who so graciously come here!

inchies.....group 3

 

 

 

these i made just because i am addicted to inch-work.  it's amazing therapy...tuning out excessive thought and focusing on minutia.  some of them are on bazzill cardstock, thus the texture, which dries my pens out quite rapidly!  the top sacred hearts are on recycled cardboard packaging (uh, yes, tissue boxes rule, ashley!).  while i do love the textured bazzill, it's too hard for me to work with on this scale, and i want my pens to last longer than one inch.... 

thanks for viewing.